10 Mistakes to Avoid While Trying To Get Your Ex Back!

by Emma Audley 


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   All breakups are traumatic. This is particularly so when you have loved someone for a long time. Before we talk about reconciliation strategies, let us come to terms with one fact though. To get your ex back, no matter how short or long the affair was is tough.

 

   Most of us make the task even tougher by making some critical as well as judgmental errors trying to rush through things. If you have picked up this article, chances are that you are keen to know about the common mistakes to avoid when trying to get your ex back. Knowing what not to do is perhaps more important than knowing what steps to take to get your ex back.  

 

   Here is a list of ten of the most common errors that lovers end up making, while trying to restore a failed relationship and get their loved ones back:

 

  1. Controlling your temper is the starting point of any relationship restoration. To get your ex back, try and put aside all the negative situations of the past. Squabbling, blaming or showing violence display innate weakness of your character. Though the temptation to settle scores is very high, to get your ex back, you have to mellow down. Remember, words once said, cannot be retrieved. Angry and hurtful words uttered in the heat of the moment could mar the chances to get your ex back forever.

  2. Do not try the overtly soft and romantic approach either. Flowers, gifts or cards are quite useless, when your ex is riding high on negative emotions about you. In any case, these actions do nothing to complement your efforts to get your ex back.

  3. Never attempt to prove a point, especially if you feel that your partner was at the root of the breakup. Remember in this kind of emotional state, your ex would always play defensive. Since rational thinking usually takes a back seat, by using your powers of reasoning, neither do you get your ex back nor do you reach anywhere close to your goal. Let things be as they are.

  4. Do not argue if your ex has taken a final decision to leave you. Agreeing at this point often helps you to get your ex back.

  5. Though you want to do just about anything to get your ex back, stay away from taking the emotional route. Crying, pleading, and citing reasons for continuing the relationship mean nothing at this stage. In fact, more than helping you to get your ex back these actions drain you of your self-esteem.

  6. If you are using the past memories as a tool to get your ex back – you would invariably fail. Your ex is adamant to follow the immediate instincts and the past memories no matter how romantic and pleasant they may have been, leave them cold.

  7. Do not take the route of arousing pity to get your ex back. This may soften the mind temporarily, but no relationship has ever stood on grounds of pity.

  8. Though the temptation to discuss your break up with some close friends is high, refrain from doing anything of the kind, unless you want the free services of a news broadcasting network. Not only do you get loads of outdated and empathetic tips to get your ex back, you and your ex become the hot topic of gossip from the next day.

  9. The desperation to get your ex back may tempt you to make some on-the-spot promises of changing your behaviors or attitudes in order to make your ex re-consider the decision to split. This is a big mistake. No body really changes wholesomely. You are what you are and would remain more or less the same in future too.

  10. Finally, one of the biggest mistakes to avoid when trying to get your ex back is to make use the ‘weak spots’ in the relationship. To use his or her vulnerability to your advantage is not only a mean thing to do but it has every chance of ricocheting and takes you head on, when you are at your vulnerable worst!

 


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