10 Mistakes to Avoid While Trying To Get Your Ex
by Emma Audley
All breakups are traumatic. This is
particularly so when you have loved someone for a long time. Before we talk about reconciliation strategies, let
us come to terms with one fact though. To get your ex
back, no matter how short or
long the affair was is tough.
Most of us make the task even tougher
by making some critical as well as judgmental errors trying to rush through things. If you have picked up this
article, chances are that you are keen to know about the common mistakes to avoid when trying to get your ex
back. Knowing what not to do is perhaps more important than knowing what steps to take to get
your ex back.
Here is a list of ten of the most common errors
that lovers end up making, while trying to restore a failed relationship and get their loved ones
- Controlling your temper is the starting point
of any relationship restoration. To get your ex back, try and put aside all the negative
situations of the past. Squabbling, blaming or showing violence display innate weakness of your character.
Though the temptation to settle scores is very high, to get your ex back, you have to
mellow down. Remember, words once said, cannot be retrieved. Angry and hurtful words uttered in the heat of
the moment could mar the chances to get your ex back forever.
- Do not try the overtly
soft and romantic approach either. Flowers, gifts or cards are quite useless, when your ex is riding high
on negative emotions about you. In any case, these actions do nothing to complement your efforts
to get your ex back.
- Never attempt to prove a point, especially if
you feel that your partner was at the root of the breakup. Remember in this kind of emotional state, your
ex would always play defensive. Since rational thinking usually takes a back seat, by using your powers of
reasoning, neither do you get your ex back nor do you reach
anywhere close to your goal. Let things be as they are.
- Do not argue if your ex
has taken a final decision to leave you. Agreeing at this point often helps you
to get your ex back.
- Though you want to do just about anything to
get your ex back, stay away from taking the emotional route. Crying, pleading, and citing
reasons for continuing the relationship mean nothing at this stage. In fact, more than helping you to
get your ex back these actions drain you of your self-esteem.
- If you are using the past memories as a tool to
get your ex back – you would invariably fail. Your ex is adamant
to follow the immediate instincts and the past memories no matter how romantic and pleasant they may have
been, leave them cold.
- Do not take the route of arousing pity to get
your ex back. This may soften the mind temporarily, but no
relationship has ever stood on grounds of pity.
- Though the temptation to discuss your break up
with some close friends is high, refrain from doing anything of the kind, unless you want the free services
of a news broadcasting network. Not only do you get loads of outdated and empathetic tips to get your ex
back, you and your ex become the hot topic of gossip from the
- The desperation to get your ex
back may tempt you to make some on-the-spot promises of changing
your behaviors or attitudes in order to make your ex re-consider the decision to split. This is a big
mistake. No body really changes wholesomely. You are what you are and would remain more or less the same in
- Finally, one of the biggest mistakes to avoid
when trying to get your ex
back is to make use the ‘weak
spots’ in the relationship. To use his or her vulnerability to your advantage is not only a mean thing to
do but it has every chance of ricocheting and takes you head on, when you are at your vulnerable
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